ANUV

#18 The Wizard

“Go right.”

Not expecting to hear a voice in this deserted stretch of the road, I looked up, startled. The voice seemed to emanate from a dark cloudy figure ahead of me floating at the intersection of two paths that diverged; one going right, the other going left. The figure cast no shadow on the ground even in the burning afternoon sun. As I looked at the apparition, it resolved into the likeness of a wizard. He stood still, in silence, with his thin bony arm outstretched, pointing right. His face stayed mostly hidden in the depths of his hood. His ghostly appearance invoked in me the image of the grim reaper, minus the scythe. 

“Go right from here.”, he repeated. His tone impersonal, like a bored office worker.

I stood there, unmoving, in silence, observing the figure attentively with my eyes wide open. I had been praying for years to gain darshan of that which stood in front of me. I felt no joy or fear. I stood there in awareness of the moment for what felt like several minutes.

I smiled, “No… I choose to go left.”

The wizard appeared to stir. He didn’t expect to be seen, let alone have his dictate contradicted by choice.

“A soul that is allowed to choose, must face the test of illusions. Are you prepared?”

“Yes.”

He dropped his arm and peered into me. His needle-like gaze pierced through me and wove an elaborate web of maya, engulfing me and plunging me into deep darkness. Gone were the wizard, the sun, and the deserted road; instead, in front of me, stood the most beautiful maiden in a moonlit garden, promising me all the tenderness of the world if I would only follow her to the right. “No… I want to go left.”

The scene changed again before my eyes. Beside me appeared my elderly parents, pulling my arm and urging me to take the right. Proclaiming that I don’t love them if I disobey. “No I do love you, but my path lies to the left.”

Next I saw my friend walking beside me, matching my pace and stride. We approached the turn on the road and he naturally began to turn right without premeditation. I stopped while he led on for a few meters before pausing himself and turning back, looking puzzled. “What happened?”

“I cannot go along with you” I said, “I turn left from here.”

One by one, came people I loved, respected and looked up to. They all tried, in their own ways, to goad me into taking the right turn, the right decision.

Eventually they stopped appearing, and I was left alone with myself, with a cacophony of voices in my head, providing me with justifications, rational explanations and emotional appeals. “You have an appointment today.”, They said, “You are late, you can’t be daydreaming here in the middle of the road.”, “You come by often, you can try the other way some other day, today is not that day.” They continued, “You’re dehydrated.”, “You’re seeing things, perhaps it’s the heat of the sun.”, “You’re too old to change your ways, it’s too late.”, “You’re still young, you have enough time ahead of you.”, “You just don’t have it in you, you can’t do it.”, and finally – “The test is over, you are now free to turn right.” They tried pulling my muscle fibers, bribing my hands to block my vision, pushing my legs to step away from under me.

But I stood still, for now I saw the wizard and his magic. I waited and waited through what felt like a raging thunderstorm until the only voice that was left, was mine.

I woke up, the scorching sun directly above me, burning my face. Sitting up with dust clinging to the sweat on my skin, I found the road to be deserted still. Looking ahead, I noticed the diverging paths that lay before me. I glanced down the right path, and for the first time, I felt a wave of ennui washing over me. My muscles did not push me any further and instead waited on me to decide the way forward. I could no longer go with the flow, as the flow had simply disappeared.

I had been here countless times, always taking the only path that I could see, the familiar path. But I had never looked, never really looked. The alternative had always been there, a part of the landscape that my eyes skimmed over but never really acknowledged or seen as a real prospect. It looked familiar from the junction, yet every step into that path would be new and unfamiliar.

I closed my eyes, and gave out a sigh of relief. I noticed the touch of the wind caressing my skin. Dusting off my clothes, I pushed myself up and went on my way.